Sexual Questioning: Exploring Your Experience

This interactive test covers identity, desire, anxiety, avoidance, withdrawal, curiosity, time, secrecy, how others see you, judgment, rules, shame, guilt, self-esteem and readiness to change. What the test asks, for example Identity If your attractions do not quite fit into the boxes people use to define orientation. If exactly who attracts you is a question you are asking yourself at the moment. Desire If you notice attractions in yourself that you would not have expected. If your attractions, which you thought were settled, now seem less clear to you. Anxiety If, when you start exploring questions about your identity, your body stays calm. If you look at your questions with curiosity, even on evenings when it stings. Avoidance If, when the question of your attractions comes up, you give it room, even when it makes you uneasy. If you read testimonies, articles or forums to better understand what you are going through. Withdrawal If you keep going to the parties and seeing the people who could revive your questions about yourself. If you feel free to explore, at your own pace, what you feel. Curiosity If you are willing to dig into questions about your identity or your attractions when you feel the need. If you allow yourself to consider several ways of defining yourself, and to change them. Time If you are able to leave the question open without trying to force an answer onto it. If you give yourself the time it takes, however long, without rushing. Secrecy If a family meal where you said who you are attracted to would go badly. If, at home, asking yourself these questions out loud would expose you to judgment. How others see you If what others expect of you weighs on the way you experience this question. If questioning your identity would make you fear being pushed aside by your own people. Judgment If you fear how others would see you if you openly lived out or voiced these questions. If, at home, at the table, same-sex couples are talked about differently from other couples. Rules If what your religion, your culture or your family taught you weighs on this question. If, in your sex life, you feel you have to match a standard image of a couple. Shame If you feel no shame about the attractions you experience, even those you did not choose. If you can treat yourself gently, even about what you do not yet understand. Guilt If you carry this question without guilt, at peace with what you are going through. If you allow yourself not to know everything about yourself, and that is fine with you. Self-esteem If, at the moment, you are able to accept yourself as you are, with your questions. If you can face your questions without feeling there is something wrong with you. Readiness to change If what you have just described weighs on your daily life. If you want to change the way you function day to day.