Am I Questioning My Feelings for My Partner? — Test

This interactive test covers attachment, swinging back and forth, identity, secrecy, how others see you, comparison, rules, avoidance, rumination, anxiety, curiosity, guilt, shame, self-esteem and readiness to change. What the test asks, for example Attachment If, in the evening, you wonder whether what you feel is really love. If you could put clear, simple words to your feelings for your partner. Swinging back and forth If, within a single day, you go from warmth to withdrawal towards your partner. If, even when you're tired, your feelings for your partner remain clear to you. Identity If, at the table with your partner, you no longer recognize what you feel. If your own romantic emotions seem clear and easy to read. Secrecy If the feelings you show in front of your friends differ from what you experience inside. If, when you wake up, you know fairly precisely where your feelings stand. How others see you If your mother's or your friends' opinion of your relationship feeds your doubts. If the questioning you are going through is your own, regardless of how others see you. Comparison If your doubts grow when you compare yourself with the friends whose relationship looks simple. If you can watch a couple you're friends with at a restaurant without it feeding your doubts. Rules If you grew up with examples of relationships that left you with contradictory expectations. If you can tell what you feel apart from what you were taught to feel. Avoidance If, when these doubts come back up, you switch on the television so as not to think about them. If you have found ways to see clearly: writing, reading, talking to someone. Rumination If you find it hard to leave your doubts alone without wanting to settle everything that same evening. If you accept having mixed feelings without turning it into an emergency. Anxiety If, as soon as you try to dig into what you feel, everything overwhelms you. If you live with these doubts for weeks without needing to decide. Curiosity If something in you resists, as if looking closely were risky. If you look at your doubts with curiosity rather than with harshness or judgment. Guilt If you feel guilty about having these doubts when you watch your partner sleep. If you go through this period of doubt without condemning or judging yourself. Shame If you feel ashamed of lacking certainty about your feelings for your partner. If you treat this questioning the way you would treat a loved one's. Self-esteem If the questioning you are going through makes you doubt your ability to love. If going through a period of doubt does not lessen your ability to love. Readiness to change If what you have just described weighs on your daily life. If you want to change the way you function day to day.