Hello Emma,
Overall result
Moderate warning signsSome concerning behaviors are present in your relationship. They deserve serious attention.
Detailed analysis
Some manipulative behaviors are present. They may be occasional but deserve your attention.
Your answers for manipulation reveal moderate signals. Without dramatizing, these elements deserve to be observed over time: a moderate dimension that settles in can become more pervasive through accumulation. The moderate level, in a situation, is often the moment when one hesitates — "am I overreacting? am I imagining things?": this doubt is normal, and it takes nothing away from the legitimacy of what you feel. If you wish, taking brief notes about the moments when this dimension is more present can help understand the triggers and spot any patterns. This tracking can also be useful if you decide to talk to a professional or someone you trust: concrete, dated elements are easier to share than a diffuse impression.
Recommendations
- ✓Learn to identify the most common manipulation techniques
- ✓Firmly express your boundaries when you detect these behaviors
The control exercised in your relationship is significant and considerably limits your personal freedom.
Your answers for control highlight significant signals. Your feelings are legitimate: these answers describe a situation you are currently going through, not a trait that would define you. This is an important distinction: a situation changes when the context changes or when you act on it, whereas a trait would give the impression of being "just how you are" with no way out. You are not the problem; you are facing a situation that is. At this level, it can become difficult to keep a clear view of the situation from within; the outside perspective of a trusted person, a professional, or a helpline can help gain perspective. If several dimensions are simultaneously elevated, this reinforces the need for external support — it is not a failure, it is a normal logic of the situation.
Recommendations
- ✓Consult a professional specialized in domestic violence
- ✓Strengthen your contacts with your trusted circle
Devaluing behaviors are occasionally present. They are beginning to impact your self-esteem.
On devaluation, this level calls for the same reading as detailed above for another dimension of the same intensity (see the analysis above).
Recommendations
- ✓Keep a journal to identify moments of devaluation
- ✓Regularly remind yourself of your qualities and accomplishments
Isolation is significant. You have lost many social contacts since the beginning of this relationship.
On isolation, this level calls for the same reading as detailed above for another dimension of the same intensity (see the analysis above).
Recommendations
- ✓Reconnect with trusted loved ones
- ✓Talk about your situation with at least one person you trust
Profile synthesis
Your answers reveal some moderate signals. Without dramatizing, these elements can be observed and discussed with a trusted person. A moderate situation is not a trivial one: it describes very real difficulties, simply not yet overwhelming. It is often at this stage that it is easiest to act, before things settle in for good. Briefly noting the moments when the situation weighs more — when, with whom, in what context — helps you see clearly and makes the conversation easier, whether with a loved one or a professional.
How your dimensions interact
Your answers reveal several converging signals (Control, Isolation). This cluster of elements is not a matter of chance: it describes, from several angles at once, the situation you are going through, and it is this convergence that gives it meaning. Seen from the inside, it is often difficult to connect these signals or to gauge their real weight. An outside perspective — a trusted person, a professional, a helpline — can help analyze them, distinguish what depends on you from what depends on the situation, and identify concrete footholds. Putting words on these elements is already a first step toward regaining a grip.
Your action plan
Right now
- →If you are in immediate danger, contact your local emergency services.
- →Control — Consult a professional specialized in domestic violence
- →Control — Strengthen your contacts with your trusted circle
- →Isolation — Reconnect with trusted loved ones
- →Isolation — Talk about your situation with at least one person you trust
In the coming weeks
- →Manipulation — Learn to identify the most common manipulation techniques
- →Devaluation — Keep a journal to identify moments of devaluation
In the long run
- →Retake this questionnaire in 3 to 6 months to observe the evolution of the situation. If scores increase, it is a signal to discuss with a professional.
- →Identify a resource person (trusted loved one, professional, helpline) with whom to talk about this situation safely, even if you are not ready to say everything.
- →Set up a minimum safety plan (safe place, emergency contacts, important documents accessible) if the situation requires — it is preparation, not a decision.
Your answers in detail
1. My partner twists my words to make me doubt what I actually said.
Answer : Rarely
You answered "Rarely". Can you tell me more about when this comes up for you?
It mainly shows up in situations that matter to me, when I feel under pressure or emotionally involved.
2. My partner uses guilt to get what they want.
Answer : Rarely
And how long have you noticed this?
It has been more present over the past few months, though I recognise it from before too.
3. After an argument, my partner acts as if nothing happened and never apologizes.
Answer : Rarely
4. My partner swings between moments of great kindness and hurtful behavior.
Answer : Rarely
5. My partner turns situations around so that I always feel responsible for the problems.
Answer : Rarely
6. My partner uses things I confided in the past against me during conflicts.
Answer : Rarely
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