Hello Emma,
Overall result
ModerateSome tendencies toward repetition show up. Making them conscious is often enough to regain control.
Your profile at a glance
Detailed analysis
This tendency is present in you — here is what it sheds light on.
A degree of recurrence shows up in your choices, without being systematic.
Your profile indicates a degree of recurrence in your choice of partners, without forming a rigid, systematic pattern. This moderation suggests that you retain an ability to diversify your choices, while recognizing that there are traits or dynamics that repeat. Cross-referenced with your high scores on Old Roots and the Unconscious Cycle, it seems that even though your conscious choices vary, the deep patterns you replay in the relationship tend to resemble one another, regardless of the partner's explicit characteristics. This observation suggests that it matters less WHO you choose than WHAT you reproduce once in the relationship. At 36, this ability to observe your own patterns without being a prisoner of a single type is a resource: it indicates relational plasticity and a possibility for change.
Recommendations
- ✓Keep a journal of the first three dates with your most recent partners: note the objective elements (age, profession, visible traits) and those relating to your immediate felt sense (attraction, emotions, intuitions). This clarifying exercise lets you objectify what really attracts you and distinguish authentic attraction from the activation of a pattern.
- ✓Practise the 'reflective pause' technique: before committing to an important relationship, ask yourself these three simple questions (in writing, preferably): 'What really attracts me to this person?' 'How am I likely to feel in three months?' 'What do I hope this relationship will let me experience or transform in myself?'
- ✓Identify early warning signs: after each breakup, note the moments when you sensed something was wrong but carried on anyway. This creates a personal map of the signals to welcome without judgment.
- ✓Explore your core relational values with a professional or on your own: what is truly important to you in a relationship? (mutual respect, freedom, emotional stability, shared growth...). Use this list as a lens for reading your future choices.
This tendency is clear in you — here is what it reveals, to understand and move forward.
Your relationships clearly replay old, emotionally charged dynamics.
This high score indicates that your current relationships clearly replay emotionally charged dynamics stemming from your earlier history — probably relational patterns learned in your family of origin or during formative early romantic experiences. The point here is not to say that you are a 'victim' of them, but to recognize that certain roles, certain unspoken things, certain types of conflict or emotional resonance feel familiar because they already were. It is precisely this familiarity that makes these dynamics both powerful and, often, invisible as patterns. What is especially important to understand: identifying these roots is not an excuse to let them operate; on the contrary, it is the starting point for reclaiming your power. At your age, this awareness has considerable value, because it opens the possibility of choosing consciously rather than reproducing automatically.
Recommendations
- ✓Engage in 'relational mapping' work: write down the three most significant relational patterns you observed in your parents or attachment figures (for example: one was distant, the other overprotective; they showed no affection toward each other; conflicts went unresolved). Then connect each one to a dynamic you replay with your partners. This perspective creates a healthy analytical distance.
- ✓Practise weekly expressive writing (20 minutes minimum): choose a past or present relationship that troubles you, and write without filter everything you feel, without seeking coherence. This technique, validated by research, reduces emotional activation and frees up cognitive clarity.
- ✓Explore your unconscious relational roles with the 'parts of self' technique: identify the roles you repeatedly play (the peacemaker, the one who fixes things, the one who withdraws...). Give them a name, listen to what they have to tell you, and ask yourself: 'What hidden belief is this part defending?' (for example: 'If I don't fix things, I'll be abandoned'). The goal is to internalize that you are MORE than this role.
- ✓Consider brief therapy focused on these roots — EMDR therapy, LI (Lifespan Integration) or focused analytic therapy could let you treat at the source these emotional activations that surface in relationships.
This tendency is present in you — here is what it sheds light on.
You sometimes lean toward the same role (giving, adapting), without rigidity.
Unlike Old Roots, which points to the ORIGIN of the pattern, this moderate score on Fixed Role indicates that you tend to adapt and give more than you receive, but without extreme rigidity. You probably have moments when you put your own needs first, even if those moments may cost you (guilt, a sense of selfishness). In a woman of 36, this pattern is extremely common and often reinforced by social and family expectations. What is crucial to notice: this adaptive role is usually FUELLED by Old Roots (having had to be 'the nice one', 'the one people count on', etc.). The moderate score suggests, however, that you keep a degree of flexibility, which is a strength. The risk, cross-referenced with the high Unconscious Cycle, is that this flexibility stays superficial: you can give AND feel frustrated, which reinforces the cycle.
Recommendations
- ✓Practise kind self-affirmation: each day, formulate and write down three needs or wishes you have (small or large: more sleep, being complimented, having time alone, being listened to without a solution offered...). The exercise does not ask you to satisfy them all, but to acknowledge their existence. This gradually reduces the guilt associated with 'having a need'.
- ✓Use the 'kind no' technique: practise saying no without excessive justification. Start with low-stakes situations (invitations, small favours). Note your anxiety, then observe: what actually happened? (Usually: nothing dramatic). This graded exposure gradually reduces the association between 'refusing' and 'relational danger'.
- ✓Establish 'micro-reciprocities': in your next relationship, notice what the other person does FOR YOU — however small — and welcome it explicitly ('That's kind of you', 'I appreciate that you...'). This trains you to receive and gradually resets your relational balance.
- ✓Work with a professional on the 'unconscious permission' to satisfy your own needs: explore the underlying belief ('If I don't give, I'll be abandoned', 'My needs are less important', etc.) and consider a gentle cognitive restructuring of this belief.
This tendency is clear in you — here is what it reveals, to understand and move forward.
The cycle often replays despite your clear-sightedness, like an automatic reflex.
This high score is the key indicator of your profile and the one that deserves the most attention. It reveals that even when you intellectually understand what is happening in your relationships, the cycle replays like an automatic reflex, independent of your awareness and your will. This is an extremely common observation in psychology: 'knowing' and 'being able to change' are not the same thing. The unconscious cycle works like a deep neurological groove — each time certain conditions are met (growing intimacy, a vulnerability, a conflict situation), the pattern activates automatically, and you find yourself reproducing the same scenario despite your sincere wish to do otherwise. It is precisely THIS discrepancy — between what you want and what you end up living — that causes frustration and can feed a sense of helplessness. Combined with the high Old Roots, this score indicates a need for professional support to BREAK the automatism at the source, at the non-verbal and emotional level, not just at the level of intellectual understanding.
Recommendations
- ✓Practise 'relational mindfulness': identify the precise MOMENT when the cycle starts to engage (a word, an emotion, a behaviour that triggers the classic scenario). Learn to recognize it IN SITU, even briefly, with the 'emotional checkpoint' technique: each evening, rate on a 1-10 scale how you experienced the relationship that day, and identify THE moment of the day when you felt the pattern activate. This awareness gradually slows the automatism.
- ✓Use the 'STOP technique' (Stop, Take a breath, Observe, Proceed) when you feel the cycle engaging: stop, breathe deeply (3-5 seconds), observe what is happening (emotions, thoughts, impulses), then consciously choose your next action. This interval of awareness, even very short, creates a crack in the automatism.
- ✓Engage in dynamic or EMDR therapy: these modalities work specifically on integrating and transforming unconscious patterns beyond intellectualization. EMDR in particular uses bilateral stimulation (eye movements, tapping) to allow the nervous system to process and re-file these reactivated old experiences.
- ✓Develop a 'secure relationship' with a therapist who becomes a space where you can PRACTISE differently: rather than replaying the cycle, you experiment with a relationship where your needs are welcomed, where conflicts are resolved, where you are never 'responsible' for the other's emotional security. This corrective experience gradually installs a new relational 'template'.
Profile synthesis
Your profile reveals a relational pattern in three movements: you have clearly high Old Roots (60%), which means that old, emotionally charged dynamics activate powerfully in your current relationships. Combined with an equally high Unconscious Cycle (60%), this creates a situation where, even with awareness and motivation, you find yourself automatically reproducing scenarios that trouble you. This is a common and extremely frustrating experience: intellectually, you 'know' what is happening, but emotionally and behaviourally, the pattern engages despite you. By contrast, your moderate scores on Partner Choice (40%) and Fixed Role (40%) suggest that you keep a degree of flexibility: you are not a prisoner of a single 'type' of partner, and you are not entirely locked into adapting and giving. This flexibility is an important resource. At 36, as a woman, these patterns are often amplified by old relational learning — perhaps an expectation to 'hold the relationship together', to manage others' emotions, to adapt your needs to circumstances. The main challenge is not to 'understand' your patterns (you probably already do), but to treat at the source the automatic activation of Old Roots and the Cycle that follows from it. This is precisely the area where professional support can make a real difference.
How your dimensions interact
The two high dimensions — Old Roots and the Unconscious Cycle — work as a mutually reinforcing system that is very active in your profile. Old Roots provides the emotional 'material' and the implicit beliefs that activate in present relationships (a certain way of reacting to conflict, of handling intimacy, of perceiving your emotional responsibility). The Unconscious Cycle, for its part, represents the behavioural and emotional LOOP that triggers as soon as these roots are activated — it is the automated 'groove'. Together, they form a vicious circle: each time you enter a relationship, the roots activate, which engages the cycle, which in turn reinforces the implicit belief ('It's always the same, I'm incapable of changing'), which makes it more likely that the roots will reactivate in the next relationship. Interrupting this cycle requires acting on TWO levels: on one hand, processing and integrating the old roots (emotional and memory work), and on the other, creating 'pauses' in the unconscious cycle at the moment of its activation (awareness and small behavioural changes). It is spiral work, not linear.
Your action plan
Right now
- →Start this week a 'cycle-recognition journal': each evening, write the moment when you felt the classic relational pattern activate (the tone of voice, the type of conflict, the emotion...). No action needed, just recognition. This simple awareness slows the automatism.
- →Practise the STOP technique three times a day, even without a crisis situation: Stop (pause), Take a breath (breathe slowly over 5 seconds), Observe (note three things you see, hear or feel without judgment), Proceed (choose a micro-action — a smile, a step outside, a glass of water). This daily training prepares your nervous system for awareness.
- →Identify a trusted person (a friend, a colleague, or if possible a professional) and give yourself permission to talk to them once about your patterns without seeking a solution. Often, being heard without judgment already creates an opening.
In the coming weeks
- →Engage in brief therapy (EMDR, focused CBT, or LI): at least 10-12 sessions to start treating the Old Roots. The goal is not to revisit your whole past, but to target the charged moments that reactivate. Aim for 1-2 sessions per week over 2-3 months.
- →Practise expressive writing twice a week (15-20 minutes): choose a relational moment that still troubles you (a separation, an unresolved conflict, a shame), and write without filter. This technique reduces emotional activation and frees up the capacity to think.
- →Make a list of your three unconscious relational roles (the fixer, the peacemaker, the one who makes herself small...) and find micro-practices that contradict them: if you are usually in adaptation, voice a simple preference each day ('I'd rather go to the cinema than the restaurant'). If you are in caring for others, deliberately receive three times a week (a compliment, a glass of water brought to you by someone...) without minimizing it.
In the long run
- →Goal at 6 months: to have installed a lasting 'witness relationship' with a professional or a support group, allowing you to practise relational dynamics differently in a safe space. The goal is to gradually internalize a new relational template where your needs coexist with others'. Steps: months 1-2 (intensive individual therapy), months 2-4 (integrating the first changes in relationships), months 4-6 (consolidation with possible adjustment of the support arrangements).
- →Goal at 6 months: to have identified and tested at least three conscious 'breaks' in the cycle: moments when you INTENTIONALLY did otherwise (for example, you stayed alone rather than adapting, you expressed a need rather than silencing it, you left a conversation rather than entering the classic conflict). Each break, even minor, strengthens your capacity to act. Steps: weeks 1-4 (identifying the branching points), weeks 5-12 (testing small breaks), weeks 12-24 (consolidation, observing the relational feedback).
- →Goal at 6-12 months: to have built a lasting 'secure relationship' (within a couple, a friendship, or ongoing therapeutic support) where you can practise expressing your needs, receiving, undramatized conflict, and healthy emotional interdependence. The goal is not to have 'resolved' all the patterns, but to have a place of practice where they can be looked at and gradually transformed. Steps: months 1-3 (clarify what relational security means for you), months 3-6 (experiment and adjust), months 6-12 (deepen and consolidate).
Avenues to explore
These are hypotheses, not conclusions. You are the one who knows whether they resonate.
It may be that you reproduce certain old relational patterns without being fully aware of it. Your old roots (60%) and your unconscious cycle (60%) are high, suggesting that past experiences — perhaps family-related or tied to earlier relationships — continue to influence your current expectations and behaviours in relationships.
Check for yourself: Identify 2-3 of your past relationships (romantic or friendships) and note the similarities: the roles you held, the recurring challenges, the dominant emotions. Ask yourself: 'Do you find these same dynamics today?' or 'What relational model did I observe in my childhood?'
A possible explanation would be that you have developed a fixed role in your relationships (40% moderate): a stable but restrictive relational archetype (for example, the one who 'fixes everything', the one who 'sacrifices themselves', or the one who 'stays distant'). This role, though predictable, could limit your relational flexibility.
Check for yourself: Reflect: how do you describe yourself in a relationship? Do you use the same adjectives? ('I'm the one who...') Ask a trusted person close to you: 'What role do you think I always play in my relationships?' See whether the description is too fixed or lacks nuance.
In some people, a high unconscious cycle (60%) comes with a repeated attraction toward similar partners or analogous relational situations, without it being deliberate. Your partner choices (40% moderate) suggest that this attraction exists but may not yet be obviously evident.
Check for yourself: Draw up a list of your significant relationships (last 5-10 years). Spot the common traits: temperament, communication style, context of meeting, or type of recurring conflict. If few resemblances appear, this avenue is less relevant for you.
It may be that a gradual awareness is emerging in you: your moderate scores on partner choice and fixed role, combined with higher old roots and unconscious cycles, could indicate that you are beginning to sense these dynamics without yet fully mastering them. You may be at a moment of transition.
Check for yourself: Have you noticed lately an increase in your questioning about your relationships? Do you say to yourself 'Hmm, I feel like I'm reliving the same thing'? Or, on the contrary, do you feel a growing urgency to explore these patterns? This awareness is already a signal.
12 clinical reading frameworks are applied to your profile below — the exact number announced for this test.
Reading frameworks
Recognised clinical frameworks applied to your profile, as additional perspectives to weigh.
Attachment style — anxious with avoidant traits
The high score on the 'Old Roots' (60%) and 'Unconscious Cycle' (60%) dimensions suggests a baseline insecurity in the relationship: the person seems to relive old patterns without being aware of them. This points to a mixed attachment where fear of abandonment (anxious) coexists with protection/distancing mechanisms (avoidant), typical of an early history marked by relational inconsistency or unpredictability.
Cognitive pattern — Overgeneralization
The unconscious repetition of relational patterns implies that the person applies to each new relationship conclusions drawn from earlier experiences without re-evaluating them. This generalization maintains the cycle by preventing adjustment to the unique reality of each partner.
Cognitive pattern — All-or-nothing thinking
The 'Fixed Role' (40%) may reflect a polarization: the person locks into a single relational role (rescuer, victim, controller...) that allows no flexibility or negotiation within the couple, reinforcing the deadlock.
Early schema — Abandonment / Relational instability
The high score on the 'Unconscious Cycle' (60%) coupled with 'Old Roots' (60%) evokes the primary fear of being abandoned or rejected, which feeds the repetitive choice of unsuitable partners or the reproduction of an earlier scenario of loss.
Early schema — Subjugation
The 'Fixed Role' (40%) may signal a tendency to bend to others' expectations or to sacrifice one's own needs to preserve the relationship, thereby reproducing an early schema of self-denial learned in the family of origin.
Attachment — Sources: Bowlby (1969) ; Ainsworth et al. (1978) ; Hazan & Shaver (1987)
Cognitive distortions — Sources: Beck (1976) ; Burns (1980)
Young's schemas — Sources: Young, Klosko & Weishaar (2003) ; Young (1990)
Relationship models
Recognised couple/relationship frameworks applied to the relationship you described — as hypotheses to test against your experience, never as conclusions about the other person.
Adult attachment
Your high scores on 'Old Roots' and the 'Unconscious Cycle' suggest that attachment patterns formed in childhood continue to structure your expectations and reactions in the current relationship. It may be that you reproduce, without realizing it, familiar family dynamics — even when they cause you discomfort. Have you noticed echoes between the way you were loved long ago and what you seek or avoid today?
Sources: Hazan & Shaver (1987) ; Bartholomew & Horowitz (1991)
Drama triangle (Karpman)
A high unconscious cycle (60%) may reveal an oscillation between relational roles — for example, swinging between a Victim position (feeling misunderstood or abandoned), a Rescuer one (a tendency to take care of the other at your own expense) or a Persecutor one (blame or distance). This profile sometimes evokes automatic shifts from one role to another, especially during tension. Do you recognize yourself in these switches?
Sources: Karpman (1968)
Gottman model
Your moderate score on 'Recurring Partner Choice' suggests that relational tensions do not necessarily arise from the partner themselves, but from dynamics that you co-create. It may be that dialogue crystallizes around reproaches or criticism rather than a clear expression of the underlying needs. Do you observe a low ratio of positive interactions to tensions, or a tendency to withdraw ('stonewalling') when conflict rises?
Sources: Gottman (1999) ; Gottman & Silver (1999)
Nonviolent Communication (Rosenberg)
The elevation of the 'Unconscious Cycle' may mask a difficulty in identifying and verbalizing your real needs before they come across as judgments or complaints. It may be that you express frustration through criticism of the other rather than through a clear request ('I need...'). Do you notice a gap between what you really feel and what you say?
Sources: Rosenberg (2003)
Triangular theory of love (Sternberg)
Your moderate scores on 'Fixed Role' and 'Recurring Choice' evoke a possible asymmetry in the balance between intimacy, passion and commitment. It may be that one of the three is less nourished than the others, or that you swing between an intense need for fusion (passion + intimacy) and phases of distancing (commitment without warmth). Do you feel that the relationship lacks balance or that certain dimensions struggle to coexist?
Sources: Sternberg (1986)
FIRO (Schutz)
With a high unconscious cycle, your needs for inclusion ('am I accepted?'), control ('do I have power over my life?') and affection ('am I loved?') may fluctuate without being explicitly addressed with the partner. It may be that you expect the other to meet them without asking. Which interpersonal need(s) feel most fragile or most demanding for you right now?
Sources: Schutz (1958)
The Love Languages (Chapman)
Your high old roots may mean that you have internalized a particular 'love language' (words of affirmation, quality time, acts of service, physical touch or gifts) that does not necessarily resonate with your partner's. It may be that they express affection in another way, creating a silent sense of non-recognition. Have you identified how each of you prefers to give and receive affection?
Sources: Chapman (1992) — proposed/debated theory
Resources & exercise
7-day observation journal
Each day, spot one situation where “Old Roots” showed up. Note the automatic thought, the emotion (0–100) and what you did. Then write one more balanced, alternative reading. After 7 days, re-read your notes: the recurring patterns become visible — the first step to change them.
Support resources
If you are struggling, you are not alone. United States: call or text 988 (Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, 24/7). Elsewhere: find your local line at findahelpline.com. This report supports self-knowledge and does not replace a consultation with a psychologist or doctor.
Your answers in detail
1. Do you feel like you always end up with the same type of partner?
Answer : Rarely
You answered "Rarely". Can you tell me a little more about when this shows up?
It comes out mostly in situations that matter to me, when I feel under pressure or emotionally involved.
2. Are you often attracted to people who are emotionally unavailable?
Answer : Rarely
And how long have you been noticing this?
It's been more present for a few months, even though I recognize it from before as well.
3. Do 'stable and available' people seem dull or uninteresting to you?
Answer : Rarely
4. Do you feel an immediate, intense attraction to profiles that end up causing you pain?
Answer : Rarely
5. Do your relationships often end for surprisingly similar reasons?
Answer : Rarely
6. Do you choose partners that the people around you find, every time, problematic?
Answer : Rarely
7. …
The next questions (7, 8…) continue in your test. This sample only shows the beginning — the full test has 60 questions, and every answer refines your report.
What now?
You've just seen what your answers reveal. Your Full Assessment goes further: a personalized, step-by-step path to turn this understanding into concrete change — at your own pace.
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