Has Having a Child Hurt Our Intimacy? — Couple Test

This test covers sexuality, desire, tenderness, tiredness, sleep, rejection, parenting, time, the couple, frustration, the body, nakedness, appearance, loneliness and readiness to change. What the test asks, for example Sexuality If, in the evening, once the child is in bed, exhaustion keeps you from thinking about making love. If, even in the middle of broken nights, fatigue does not stop you from making love with your partner. Desire If you want to get back to a sex life together, without knowing how to restart it. If, after a full night's sleep, the desire to make love comes back on its own. Tenderness If, since the nights became broken, a hand on you in bed feels like a burden rather than a pleasure. If, even when worn out, you can accept a cuddle on the sofa or a hand on your back. Tiredness If, in the evening on the sofa, your body craves sleep, not caresses. If, late at night, in shared exhaustion, you understand each other with a look, without a word. Sleep If, after a night of repeated waking, tiredness decides whether you want cuddles or sex. If you believe your sex life would resume if the child slept through the night. Rejection If making the first move toward your partner in the evening feels difficult. If, when your partner falls asleep before you, you understand it is not a rejection. Parenting If, since the birth, you have been a full-time parent and a partner in your spare moments. If raising this child together has brought you closer. Time If finding time together, without the child, is a real puzzle. If you know how to create a moment of closeness in very little time, in the kitchen. The couple If, between bottles, daycare and laundry, your relationship comes last. If you have kept a ritual for two, a morning coffee, an evening show. Frustration If, for lack of time together, frustration or loneliness creeps in at night. If you have reinvented your moments together around the child's schedule. The body If, since the birth, your naked body in the mirror shows you something different from before. If you can inhabit this body as it is, scar and extra weight included. Nakedness If you keep a T-shirt on in bed so that your partner sees less of your body as it is today. If you can undress in front of your partner without your self-image holding you back. Appearance If a scar or a changed belly or breasts are hard for you to accept. If your body has changed since the birth, not necessarily for the worse. Loneliness If, in the months after the birth, a distance settled between you and your partner. If the early days with the child shook your relationship, and the bond held. Readiness to change If what you have just described weighs on your life right now. If you want to change the way you function day to day.