Trauma Bond Test — Am I in a Trauma Bond?

This interactive test covers alternation, repair, hypervigilance, violence, longing, separation, loneliness, isolation, secrecy, relief, doubting your own perception, confidence, putting things off, support and readiness to change. What the test asks, for example Alternation Whether this person switches from great tenderness to an icy coldness. Whether the affection you receive comes every day, without you having to earn it. Repair Whether their apologies almost erase the scene from the day before. Whether, after an outburst of excessive anger, this person comes back to you the next day as if nothing had happened. Hypervigilance Whether you spend your evenings watching for the sign of the next crisis. Whether your calm periods last for months, without tension building back up. Violence Whether this person has ever been physically rough with you, or held you by the arm to stop you from leaving the room. Whether your friends worry about the way this person speaks to you and treats you. Longing Whether, away from this person, even for a short time, the longing twists your stomach. Whether your attachment to this person resembles the kind people have to a drug. Separation Whether you decide to break up, and then the decision goes nowhere. Whether, if you decided to leave tomorrow, you would do it without crushing guilt. Loneliness Whether ending up with no one seems more frightening than continuing to suffer here. Whether you are unable to imagine your days, even the most ordinary ones, without this person. Isolation Whether, month after month, you see your friends less and have dropped your hobbies. Whether you keep a class and friends of your own, outside of this person. Secrecy Whether you hide more and more from your loved ones what really goes on at home. Whether, between what you live through at home and what you tell others about it, the gap is wide. Relief Whether, after days of coldness, a simple tender gesture relieves you out of all proportion. Whether a simple arm around your shoulders after a tense stretch fills you with euphoria. Doubting your own perception Whether, after their explanations, you doubt what you saw with your own eyes. Whether, when you try to talk about a hurtful gesture, the conversation turns against you. Confidence Whether you have lost confidence in your own judgment, even for a trivial choice. Whether what you do day to day follows what you clearly know about your situation. Putting things off Whether you catch yourself finding reasons to put off any decision about this relationship. Whether you have not prepared a concrete plan to leave. Support Whether you lack a friend, a relative or a professional to turn to. Whether, when someone close to you gently worries, your first reflex is to defend this person. Readiness to change Whether what you have just described weighs on your life and your relationships. Whether you want to rebuild yourself and regain your balance.