Toxic Family Test: toxic parents, mother and father — identify and decide

This test looks at how a family works — mother, father, siblings, a relative — and at what it brings about in you. It examines how often the behaviors you notice occur, how they affect you as an adult, the patterns that replay in your other relationships, and the room you manage to keep for yourself with your family. The report describes each of these aspects, without ever making a diagnosis about any member of your family. This interactive test covers belittling, having your perception questioned, being heard, comparison, secrecy, guilt, boundaries, tiredness, anxiety, self-esteem, responsibility, relationships outside the family, trust, isolation, distance and readiness to change. What the test asks, for example Belittling If a family member makes critical remarks about your appearance. If, in your family, affection is unconditional, no matter how well you do. Having your perception questioned If, in your family, you're told you're exaggerating what you feel. If, when something happens, everyone in your family tells it the same way afterward. Being heard If your family gives their opinion on your decisions without your asking. If, in your family, people ask your opinion on shared decisions. Comparison If you get compared to other family members in front of others. If, when you share good news, your family is happy for you. Secrecy If certain topics stay unspoken in your family: money, a death, someone leaving. If you find out about an important family event after the other family members. Guilt If, when you turn down a family request, you're overwhelmed with guilt. If spacing out contact with your family would make you feel guilty. Boundaries If you let your family cross lines you wouldn't accept from anyone else. If saying no to your family feels legitimate to you, even without having to justify yourself further. Tiredness If, after spending time with your family, exhaustion sets in. If, the night after you've been in touch with your family, you sleep badly. Anxiety If, before seeing your family, you dread how one of them will react. If, after being in touch with your family, a tension lingers in you and takes time to ease. Self-esteem If, around your family, what you say to yourself is something like: I should be ashamed of what I do. If, around your family, you keep the same self-esteem you have elsewhere. Responsibility If, as soon as a conflict breaks out around you, you offer a solution before anyone asks you to. If the mood of the people close to you is their business, not yours. Relationships outside the family If, outside your family, you accept behavior you already had to put up with at home. If, in your relationships, you feel you have a real place and are treated with respect. Trust If, when you need help, you go without it rather than ask someone you trust. If you share something important with a friend or your partner. Isolation If, with someone who matters to you, you keep some of what you think to yourself. If you have talked to someone around you or to a professional about what you go through with your family. Distance If, even when you feel you need distance from your family, you say yes to what they ask of you. If putting some distance between yourself and your family when you need to feels healthy. Readiness to change If what you describe in this test weighs on your relationships. If you want to change the way you function day to day.